


Counting

by mthevlamister



Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz
Genre: Dorks, F/M, I'm actually doing something serious, M/M, Multi, Stage Boyfs, Trans Michael, Trans Michael Mell, boyf riends - Freeform, stage dorks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-15
Updated: 2017-12-15
Packaged: 2019-02-11 14:56:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,474
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12937704
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mthevlamister/pseuds/mthevlamister
Summary: I have never been high before, can you tell? My, uh, ex best friend got high with her friends in front of me. She wouldn't actually let me try it, not because she cared about me going home sober but because she didn't want to get in trouble. Yeah, so all I have is her and her friends who I didn't know and it was awkward. I, uh, had to do research for this fic (TheIcyMage told me this idea) and the government will have fun seeing 'how to smoke a blunt' on my search history!





	Counting

**Author's Note:**

> I have never been high before, can you tell? My, uh, ex best friend got high with her friends in front of me. She wouldn't actually let me try it, not because she cared about me going home sober but because she didn't want to get in trouble. Yeah, so all I have is her and her friends who I didn't know and it was awkward. I, uh, had to do research for this fic (TheIcyMage told me this idea) and the government will have fun seeing 'how to smoke a blunt' on my search history!

Michael was lucky Jeremy still liked him even with his posse, he made sure to remind himself of that everyday. Jeremy, himself, was thankful that Michael was so forgiving. They were best bros again, they hung out far more often than they did before the SQUIP (which was hard to believe) and relished every moment they had together. Christine even hung out with the two in Michael's basement and basically everywhere; they were both very touchy-feely now-a-days which confused Michael, actually. Christine and Jeremy would both cling onto Michael and not let go for at least two hours, even if they were with friends! Two hours was the least amount of time, Michael counted before. Yep, 7200 seconds at least. It kind of got awkward, especially if they kissed, but hey! Who was he to shame them? He wouldn't even shame them if they were all high as kites, which they were.

"Dude, you're like. . . so high." Jeremy snapped Michael out of his counting, he was at 8347 seconds by now. "What are you even thinking about in that head of yours? Your brain is like. . . woah! And I'm always like. . . dude!"

"Jer, you need to sober up." Michael rubbed his best friends back. Christine was working herself up to actually try out the blunt in her hand, so she was not attached to Michael just yet. Michael was still counting, he was at 8356 now. "Maybe you should grab some coffee?"

"No! I mean it, you're all like. . . words! It's so cool! You just. . . pew pew! But with your mind and logic!" Jeremy kept going as Christine took two puffs, claiming they missed it being passed around by talking. "It's all cool and shit, like you should be super popular! You have potential! I just have my dick."

Michael, feeling a little bit unsure how to comfort Jeremy, said the most reasonable thing that came to his drugged mind. "It's a very handsome dick, I don't blame them all for liking it. It's got, uh, a nice style."

"You two are sooooo gay!" Christine coughed out, totally smoking incorrectly.

"A. this is your boyfriend! B. no more direct hits, you get to shotgun with Jeremy." Michael took the blunt away. Only 8471 seconds now, and Jeremy has yet to let go; the longest they've ever held onto him was 18468 seconds, which translated to past five hours. It was a very weird day that day, they were flirting too.

"What if you shotgunned with her?" Jeremy asked, Christine batting her eyes in effect to prove a point. "You're mooooore experienced!"

"Jer, go upstairs and grab some instant coffee." Michael swatted his best friend's back. "Shoo, go drink coffee!"

"Aww, you're gonna do it in private? Send me a video or a picture at least!" Jeremy whined, getting up at a wooping 8503 seconds, leaving the basement.

Christine turned to Michael quickly, placing the blunt in his mouth. "Shotgun!"

Michael was met with a terrible choice, he could either: A. help Christine cheat on Jeremy hypothetically (look, Christine was not afraid to get in people's comfort zones) or: B. have Christine cry, and she was going to cry if he didn't do this. So Michael inhaled, took the blunt out, and breathed out slowly into Christine's mouth. He wasn't surprised when Christine smashed her lips against his and kissed him with all the passion in the world. This would not end well, Jeremy was going to be pissed, and Michael didn't even see Christine snap a photo of them kissing. He pushed her away slowly, as if she was a hurt puppy, and sat up straight. Christine pouted, but she also yawned and rested her head on Michael's shoulder. Michael rolled his eyes and began to count again.

1\. . . 2. . .

* * *

"Is that you kissing Michael?!" Jeremy whisper-yelled as he stared at Christine's phone.

"You jealous?" Christine asked, smiling innocently.

"Yes I'm jealous, Christine! He's my best friend! He kissed you! My best friend kissed you!" Jeremy clutched his hair. "This sucks!"

"I know, honey, I know." Christine cooed. "You did ask for a picture though."

"I know, I. . . I just wanted to be his first kiss."

"Well sucks for you."

* * *

"Jeremy, what's up--mmf!"

Jeremy grabbed Michael, in front of Christine, in front of his friends, and kissed him. Jeremy used everything in his string bean arms to pin Michael down whilst kissing him. When he pulled away he gave no explanation, only smiled and ran off with his friends. This left Michael confused and questioning everything he knew. First Christine kissed him, then Jeremy. This did mean, though, there was a whopping 5 seconds of touching, the newest record of the least amount of time. 

Michael didn't know if he was happy or if it was really upsetting.

* * *

"We have to ask him out." Christine said quickly.

"I know we do." Jeremy sighed, covering his face. "I just kissed him! You kissed him! We both want to kiss him, hold him, worship him."

"He needs worship, he's got self esteem issues." Jenna said, taking a sip of her soda. Everyone paused to look at her, it was a known fact only Jeremy and Christine talked to Michael. "What? We've been over this! I text Michael at least four times a day, it's very important I get to know him. He's also really funny, you should all get to know him a bit more. He likes iguanas, which makes him a good person."

"He also likes snakes when they do the little blep." Jeremy sighed.

"Yeah but he likes iguanas more, get to know your best friend." Jenna opened her phone, presumably tweeting or texting Michael. Jeremy looked at her in horror and anger, mostly because she was right.

"Goddammit Jenna."

"Don't hate because I'm right."

"So Jeremy, as best friend and knowing him longest I nominate you to ask him out." Christine said with a smile.

"Me?! I get nervous and start sweating and go: well I'm Jeremy!" Jeremy threw his hands up.

"Hey, you're not a virgin anymore--" Christine said softly.

"Oh my god Christine."

"--to asking people out without a SQUIP, not a virgin."

"So is Jeremy a virgin still?" Brooke asked.

"I'm waiting 'till marriage." Jeremy hissed, crossing his arms. "I wasn't going to sleep with anyone until I was married! Hence why I would've been a virgin until I died!"

"Well, who would you want to take your virginity?" Jake asked, totally seriously, no intentions for drama.

"I don't know, probably either Idris Elba or Ryan Reynolds." Jeremy said with a shrug before holding a hand up. "Rosario Dawson, that's who I want to take my virginity. God she was good as Mimi in the movie version of Rent."

"Yeah, I'd want her for my first time too." Christine let out a sigh, smiling. 

"Or Jake Dillinger." Jeremy said with a wink.

"You had your chance Jeremy, you had it!" Jake joked, pointing at Jeremy. "I am fully committed to Chloe now, so I am afraid that offer is not still standing."

"Darn, I was gonna cheat too." Jeremy joked, receiving a small slap from both Chloe and Christine. "Ow! Kidding! Kidding!"

"More importantly," Rich said, "Michael."

* * *

"Hey Michael." Jeremy walked over to his best friend, doing an awkward little finger gun motion. He was entering Michael's room, enjoying the fact he still had a key to his best friend's house.

"Hey, what's up Jeremy?" Michael asked, not looking up from his NES. 

"Well, you see, I have something important to--is that Mother 3?" 

"It is."

"Ohhhhhh my god. I am going to cry--let me play." Jeremy demanded.

"What? No!" 

"Let me play!"

"No--get off of me!"

"LET ME PLAY THE GODDAMN GAME MICHAEL!"

"FIGHT ME!"

"God if you weren't the person I wanted to date I would."

"I'm sorry, what?" Michael looked up and blinked.

"Christine and I have major crushes on you."

"Why does it seem I hear this a lot?"

"What?"

"Multiverse theory, sorry, I have dreams where Rich, Jake, your SQUIP, and you once told me this--I think even Jason Dean from Heathers told me this."

Jeremy let out a huge sigh, crossing his arms and pouting. He didn't think asking his best friend out would be this difficult; why did Michael bring up other people? That sort of, kind of, totally sucked! "So, can you see yourself dating me and Christine? An answer would be preferred, so I don't have to sit there questioning if I ruined everything because you won't give me a straight answer."

"I don't know, Jer. Are you serious about lowering your standards to date moi?" Michael waggled his eyebrows.

"I changed my mind, we don't want to date you." Jeremy narrowed his eyes, because god Michael was a huge nerd. "I am not lowering anything--stop wiggling your goddamn eyebrows Michael!"

"Do you two need a moment?"

Oh, yeah! The SQUIP Squad was all there, Jake asked that! Michael cleared his throat, rolling his eyes slightly. "We don't need a moment, Dillinger."

"Can I just touch the NES?" Jeremy asked, reaching for the system. Michael quickly held it above his head, sticking his tongue out, and laughed. Jeremy groaned, jumping to no avail. "Gimme!"

"Hey, Christine, look at your boyfriend." Michael said, grinning. "He's being a loser."

"It's the best time to be a loser!" Christine grabbed Michael's arm, smiling. 

"1. . . 2. . . 3. . . 4. . ." Michael muttered.

It was an astonishing 21672 seconds before Christine let go and Jeremy settled down, and by then the whole squad was sleeping over at Michael's.

* * *

"It seems like in almost every universe I try to befriend your friends." Michael said whilst flossing.

"What?" Jeremy asked, brushing his teeth.

"Multiverse theory again." Michael took the floss out, throwing it out. "Are you using my toothbrush?"

"I'll dip it in acid."

"Jeremy--"

"We were serious, you know. We want to date you, make you our boyfriend, we're totally serious."

Michael looked at his friend, who was looking at him with disheveled hair and toothbrush sitting lazily in his mouth thanks to the end of his insane brushing. Michael took his hand, pulling the toothbrush out of Jeremy's mouth, and kissing him softly. It was magical for about 0.2 seconds until the pulled away and spat in the sink. "Goddammit toothpaste kisses are disgusting!" Michael turned on the water, cupping some in his hands, rinsing his mouth.

"No one told you to kiss me right then!" Jeremy washed off the brush and used the now wet brush to wash away the lingering paste.

"I felt an urge, something in the force if you will."

"You're such a loser."

"I'm your loser."

"And Christine's."

"And Christine's."

* * *

"Morning."

It was ironic, it really was, that everyone who had a SQUIP woke up at the same time and exited the room to see Michael cooking breakfast. Rich nodded and waved, walking over to Michael. "Whatcha making?"

"Eggs, pancakes, home fries, the good stuff." Michael yawned. "I was craving diner food, but I'm broke. I'm debating making milkshakes too, those are always good."

"Mmm, baaaaaabe!" Jeremy hugged Michael from behind. "I want bacon."

"Buy it yourself then--you're fucking--!" Michael cut himself off. "You don't get to lecture me on being a heathen and ask for bacon two days after!"

"Turkey bacon then--I don't know, you make really good meat! You made that chicken one time and jesus--pleaaaaase?" Jeremy asked, smiling.

"Same answer as you playing my goddamn NES." Michael swatted Jeremy's hand away. 

"What's the deal with bacon?" Brooke asked softly, getting ignored.

"I want chicken now." Christine hummed, latching onto Michael. "Can we have chicken too?"

"Oh my god, they're going to barnicle all the time now." Brooke sighed, texting someone. 

"So, Michael, about our debate--" Jenna acted like this was totally normal.

"Iguanas are better, I will fight."

"Geckos can boop your nose!" Jenna crossed her arms. 

"So you and Jenna talk a lot?" Brooke asked, looking between the two. 

"Everyday, useless stuff mostly, but hey it's cool." Michael waved her off.

"Oh hell yeah it's cool!" Jenna slapped Michael on the back. 

"Babe I want turkey bacon." Jeremy repeated, tugging Michael's hoodie.

"I want to be not trans, but here we are." Michael hummed, swatting Jeremy's hip with the spatula. "You want turkey bacon you get it from the store."

"You're trans?!" Brooke gaped.

"Okay every single time you're all shocked, except for Jenna. Why is it always this scenario?" Michael asked, pointed the spatula (it was a lot of work to turn since both his boyfriend and girlfriend were clinging onto him) at Brooke. He noted the weird looks he got and sighed. "Multiverse theory."

"I love my trans boyfriend." Christine cooed.

"I love him too." Jeremy sighed, leaning closer to Michael.

"I love my trans brother." Jenna held up a hand, receiving a high five from Michael. "Brethren."

"You're my bro, Jenna." Michael said softly, placing the food on the platter.

"I thought I was your bro!" Jeremy pouted, tugging Michael's sleeve.

"You're my bae now."

"Michael, honey, never say that again."

* * *

"Michael it's not Christmas yet." Jake piped up when he saw Michael holding a book labeled 'Jeremy.'

"Oh my god Jeremy never told you? Are you all even friends?" Michael let out a small laugh, staring at Jeremy's friends. "He's so Jewish, like super Jewish. He freaking told me he wasted his bar mitzvah money on the SQUIP! Oh my god you guys didn't know!"

"He never told us!" Chloe defended the squad, crossing her arms.

"Every universe it's always you." Michael whispered, ignoring the looks he got.

"Michael, hey--what's that?" Jeremy skipped over, smiling.

"Happy Chanukah, I got you a gift. I'm not getting you anything other than this though, I'm kind of broke right now." Michael explained, before shrugging slightly. "I have Christine's gift, but she gets it on Christmas." 

"Dude! I have latkes for you but--oh god Michael!" Jeremy hugged Michael close. "You're carrying me to class now, have fun."

"That's cool, I'm used to it." Michael whispered, kissing Jeremy's head as he began to count.

* * *

Christine blinked before her eyes welled up with tears. "Y-You mean Wicked tickets for C-Christmas Day?!"

"I am now broke for a reason." Michael wiped her tears. 

"I can't believe--oh Michael!" Christine cried, throwing her arms around Michael. "I'm not letting go until I die!"

"That's fine, I like your company." Michael said with a smile.

* * *

It had been seven hours, and Michael had to pee badly.

As he looked at Jeremy and Christine, who were both asleep on his shoulders, he debated moving and waking them up.

No, not yet at least.

Michael sat there, on New Years, in between his girlfriend and his boyfriend.

Thankful to be counting his 252508 second.

**Author's Note:**

> I was gonna end it with Michael being an old man and Christine and Jeremy are dead. It was gonna be him saying he was counting down the seconds until he was in their embrace again. I decided not to, because it's Chanukah. There's your gift, happy Chanukah.


End file.
